Who is the bitchiest of them all?
To answer this question, I've come up with a completely objective and real scale to determine exactly how bitchy, on a scale of 1-10, everybody is. (spoiler alert: it's Vriska)
Before I begin, I'd like to note that bitchiness is not at all related to value as a character. People can be bitchy for good reason.
Kids
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John: Starting it off low, John is a solid 1.3. He's close to as little of a bitch as one can be. He's always nice and chill, coming off as a little awkward even when arguing with someone. I will include an important caveat in that interlude when it's his birthday and he's watching whatever movie and then goes and fights Tavros for the ring he jumps up to a 6.7.
Rose: 3.4. Rose is clearly more of a bitch than John, but she's still pretty low. She's pretty chill most of the time, but sometimes pushes on people to much. Which is kind of a weird way to phrase what I mean, but yeah.
Dave: 2.6. Dave isn't very bitchy, generally. Sometimes he'll, like get a bit bitchy with his quiet muttering.
Jade: 1.2. Just a bit less than John. Can't think of much else to say.
Rose: 3.4. Rose is clearly more of a bitch than John, but she's still pretty low. She's pretty chill most of the time, but sometimes pushes on people to much. Which is kind of a weird way to phrase what I mean, but yeah.
Dave: 2.6. Dave isn't very bitchy, generally. Sometimes he'll, like get a bit bitchy with his quiet muttering.
Jade: 1.2. Just a bit less than John. Can't think of much else to say.
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Aradia: 6.5 when she's dead and mysterious then 5.3 when she becomes death fangirl.
Tavros: 4.7 Annoying, but that only bumps him up so far.
Sollux: 6.8. He's cool, but also a bitch.
Karkat: 9.2. Obvious. Karkat is a huge bitch.
Nepeta: 2.1. Cinnamon roll. Not a bitch in the slightest.
Kanaya: 4.1. Meddler.
Terezi: 4.7. Eh idk with her desu.
Vriska: 10. Vriska is a bitchy as a person can get.
Equius: 6.6. Bitchy about hemospectrum crap.
Gamzee: 3.5. Murderstuck, oddly enough, didn't feel like it actually increased his bitchiness.
Eridan: 8.6. Huge bitch.
Feferi: 2.2. Nice. Only that high because of the one or two times she gets annoyed. Which is valid mostly desu.
Tavros: 4.7 Annoying, but that only bumps him up so far.
Sollux: 6.8. He's cool, but also a bitch.
Karkat: 9.2. Obvious. Karkat is a huge bitch.
Nepeta: 2.1. Cinnamon roll. Not a bitch in the slightest.
Kanaya: 4.1. Meddler.
Terezi: 4.7. Eh idk with her desu.
Vriska: 10. Vriska is a bitchy as a person can get.
Equius: 6.6. Bitchy about hemospectrum crap.
Gamzee: 3.5. Murderstuck, oddly enough, didn't feel like it actually increased his bitchiness.
Eridan: 8.6. Huge bitch.
Feferi: 2.2. Nice. Only that high because of the one or two times she gets annoyed. Which is valid mostly desu.
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Jane: 3.7. Idk.
Roxy: 2.4. Pretty chill practically all the time?
Jake: 4.6. He may not seem like it at first glance, but there's a mild bitch hiding under those flashy hope powers.
Dirk: 4.8. I might be unintentionally influenced by epilogue Dirk here, I'm not sure.
Roxy: 2.4. Pretty chill practically all the time?
Jake: 4.6. He may not seem like it at first glance, but there's a mild bitch hiding under those flashy hope powers.
Dirk: 4.8. I might be unintentionally influenced by epilogue Dirk here, I'm not sure.
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Damara: 9.6. Huge bitch.
Rufioh: 5.7. Low key he kind of annoys me so I'm not gonna call this one objective necessarily.
Mituna: 1.3. A cinnamon roll. desu though it's more like a 4.2, I just don't like it.
Kankri: 7.1. Bitch is a bit of a triggering word.
Meulin: 1.4. Cinnamon roll also. Deserves better. Very little bitchiness.
Porrim: 3.6. Low key she kind of annoys me so I'm not gonna call this one objective necessarily.
Latula: 3.9. Kind of but also not really.
Aranea: 7.1. She doesn't talk like a bitch, but she is one nonetheless.
Horuss: 4.3. It's not on purpose, it just kind of happens.
Kurloz: 4.5. Despite being evil, he's pretty chill.
Cronus: 7.3. Thinks he's not a bitch but is.
Meenah: 8.6. A huge bitch, but in a cool way.
Rufioh: 5.7. Low key he kind of annoys me so I'm not gonna call this one objective necessarily.
Mituna: 1.3. A cinnamon roll. desu though it's more like a 4.2, I just don't like it.
Kankri: 7.1. Bitch is a bit of a triggering word.
Meulin: 1.4. Cinnamon roll also. Deserves better. Very little bitchiness.
Porrim: 3.6. Low key she kind of annoys me so I'm not gonna call this one objective necessarily.
Latula: 3.9. Kind of but also not really.
Aranea: 7.1. She doesn't talk like a bitch, but she is one nonetheless.
Horuss: 4.3. It's not on purpose, it just kind of happens.
Kurloz: 4.5. Despite being evil, he's pretty chill.
Cronus: 7.3. Thinks he's not a bitch but is.
Meenah: 8.6. A huge bitch, but in a cool way.
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Dad Egbert: 1. Dad has not a single ounce of bitchiness in him.
Mom Lalonde: 5.7. Pretty bitchy.
Bro Strider: It's pretty hard to be a bitch while also being a coolkid. 3.9 despite the fact that he sucks.
Grandpa Egbert: 5.5. desu child negligence is pretty bitchy.
Mom Lalonde: 5.7. Pretty bitchy.
Bro Strider: It's pretty hard to be a bitch while also being a coolkid. 3.9 despite the fact that he sucks.
Grandpa Egbert: 5.5. desu child negligence is pretty bitchy.
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Nannasprite: 3.8, give or take half a point. Pretty cool.
Jaspersprite: 1. Jasper is cinnamon roll.
Davesprite: 7.1. Pretty dang bitchy.
Jadesprite: 3. Mildly bitchy.
Tavrissprite: NEI.
Fefetasprite: 1.2.
Jasprosesprite^2: 6.9. (Nice)
Arquiusprite: 5.8. Bitch but also not bitch.
Erisolsprite: 9.9. Pretty bitchy.
Davepetasprite^2: 3.2. Low bitch. retty much
Jaspersprite: 1. Jasper is cinnamon roll.
Davesprite: 7.1. Pretty dang bitchy.
Jadesprite: 3. Mildly bitchy.
Tavrissprite: NEI.
Fefetasprite: 1.2.
Jasprosesprite^2: 6.9. (Nice)
Arquiusprite: 5.8. Bitch but also not bitch.
Erisolsprite: 9.9. Pretty bitchy.
Davepetasprite^2: 3.2. Low bitch. retty much
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WV: 1.1. Cinnamon roll.
PM: 2.1. Pretty cool. Dedicated to mail.
AR: 4.6. Overly concerned about the law.
WQ: 2.4. Chill.
SS: 8.8. Pretty dang bitchy.
CD: 2.1. Eh.
DD: 4.1. Eh.
HB: 6.1. Eh
Snowman: 7.2. I trust Slick's judgement.
Ms. Paint: 2.7.
PM: 2.1. Pretty cool. Dedicated to mail.
AR: 4.6. Overly concerned about the law.
WQ: 2.4. Chill.
SS: 8.8. Pretty dang bitchy.
CD: 2.1. Eh.
DD: 4.1. Eh.
HB: 6.1. Eh
Snowman: 7.2. I trust Slick's judgement.
Ms. Paint: 2.7.
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Auto Responder: 6.5 Dirk was a huge bitch at 13.
Probably some other dudes I'm forgetting desu: [shrug]
Me: 9.89, only a huge bitch could make a ranking like this.
Probably some other dudes I'm forgetting desu: [shrug]
Me: 9.89, only a huge bitch could make a ranking like this.
Also I basically did this all in like 30 minutes and didn't bother comparing them really so take this with a grain of salt.
Also if I feel like it I might do this for friendsim and beyond canon dudes.
