Homestuck.XYZ 2.0

actually write a power ding dong

i wish i could blow things up with my mind that aren't myself or anywhere near me

You can only blow things up on the opposite coordinates to where you are, on the other side of the planet.

I wish for the power to be in control of my emotions.

you end up becoming an asshole and a manipulative person because in time you realize its more profitable for you.

i want to have the power of water manipulation ala avatar

You end up being able only manipulate your own piss.

I wish I could grow in size.

You wouldn't be able to get into anywhere without breaking it, and you'd probably just end up sleeping in some field somewhere.

I want the ability to fly.

You get to fly, but you aren't immune to your body liquefying at mach 10

I want a lantern ring!

Sure! However, you get the beige lantern ring, a lesser known variant which runs off the power of disappointment. All of your powers are stunningly mediocre.

I wanna be able to read minds!

you cant deactivate it, making you read the mind of everyone in your field of view all the time.

the power of jedi, i want

you only get the shitty jedi powers, like force smell

i wish i could post twice

ok but you can control peoples minds

Granted.


I wish to have all of the knowledge and power of the supreme creator if they were real, combined with the ability to handle the knowledge and power which comes with it.

(by supreme creator i mean whoever made the universe)

all your newfound knowledge is in a completely different language

you can handle the knowledge AND the power but the responsibility is too much for you...

I wish I had the power to alter the vibrations of matter with my mind

You can do so, but you aren't immune to the heat that would produce. Good luck effectively using it, bucko.

Give me powers of narrative control pls

OK but you only have narrative control over Sesame Street.

Give me the power of SPIN TO WIN

Granted. You win the expired patent for toilet paper.

Bhopping and Surfing in real life

You have it, but everyone around you acts and talks like a badly written NPC, driving you insane.

I want infinite time so I have time for everything.

You infinitely age, causing you to disentegrate into nothingness.

I want a turkey sandwich.

The turkey just happens to fucking suck.
I want to be able to mind control people!

granted! you can mind control people, but you can't un-mind control them, and you slowly lose control of that power over time, turning your subjects into mindless, violent, aimless and unstoppable killing machines that want nothing more than to take their first given objective (say, protecting you) to the absolute extreme (i.e: literally slaughtering people who come near you).

i wish for the power of super strength!