Evil Genie

[MP the OP OG]

Granted, no one is complaining about act 7 because it doesn't exist anymore

I wish I could get a stable, well paying job.

[finallyDeme]

Granted. Your stable, well-paying job is murdering orphans and you get arrested really quickly.

I wish to be myself.

[babygusher]

After a thousand years of whatever the fuck you were doing, you re-become yourself again. You lose all emotion, no longer being able to enjoy life. Everything becomes dull. Food you once saw as great has now become bland, and you lose all interests in everything.

I wish for no wishes.

[Generalrabogolfo]

the act of granting wishes is now known as no wishes.

i wish

[Brandibee]

Granted. You wished. You are now minus a wish.

I wish to be able to travel the world, to go wherever I want, with no worry about time or money.

[Astridify]

Granted, you are now literal air.

I wish I could create anything I wanted out of thing air whenever I wanted.

[Generalrabogolfo]

granted. you end up killing all live on the planet who depends of air to live.

i wish it was 2030 already.

[finallyDeme]

Granted, it is now 2030, but because of climate change, the world is burning and no one stopped it because you skipped time.

I wish that I could wish.

[Astridify]

Granted. But you wished that you “COULD” wish. Past tense at this point.

I wish that the person who will reply to this’s phone explodes

[finallyDeme]

Granted. I don't have a phone.

I wish for infinite wishes.

[Astridify]

Granted! But you never specified what about! You now have infinite wishes which can only effect Andrew Hussie.

I wish that my genie will do exactly what I say!

[finallyDeme]

Granted.

I wish for death.

[Astridify]

Granted. But only for exactly 413 milliseconds. Welcome back to the living world!

I wish that I become the new creator of homestuck.

[MP the OP OG]

Granted, Homestuck sucks now

I wish Tavros grew a spine before the troll session

[finallyDeme]

Granted, Tavros grew a spine but it grew in wrong and he died. Tavros is now not a part of the session, making Jade's grandpa still living, changing the way Jade thinks and making her less attached to Becquerel, so then Becquerel finds a different human that then joins the session, fucking up everything in the session. Congrats!

I wish for a million dollars.

[Generalrabogolfo]

granted. you get robbed a few days after becuase you start being an asshole due to being richer than most.

i wish i could erase specific parts of my memory at will

[finallyDeme]

Granted! You quickly try to erase a part of your memory, but you didn't look at the tag. "Warning: First try will erase random memory." You then erase the memory of ever getting this power, and never remember ever again.

I wish to be dead.

[Kidpen]

Granted. You die. Now you're a ghost! Congratulations. There's literally no way for you to move on with your afterlife. You also can't move. Or sleep. You just get to sit in the spot you died forever.

I wish for a mint oreo.

[Generalrabogolfo]

granted. it was poisoned.

i wish things were worse

[finallyDeme]

Granted. Things are worser than worse, making them better.

I wish an un-poisoned oreo.