Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Create or play along with forum-based, fan-made, MSPA-inspired adventures here!

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luigi
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Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by luigi » Thu Mar 12, 2020 10:26 pm

Image
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just crawled the shit out of this dungeon. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
whose behind all that facial hair? surely it can't be luigi, that guy disappeared a long time ago

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RoyalFiddle
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by RoyalFiddle » Fri Mar 13, 2020 1:42 am

Walk right past them.
ROS3S 4R3 BL4CK
V1OL3TS 4R3 BL4CK
3V3RYTH1NG 1S BL4CK
1M BL1ND
>:]

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luigi
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by luigi » Fri Mar 13, 2020 4:38 pm

RoyalFiddle wrote:
Fri Mar 13, 2020 1:42 am
>Walk right past them.
Image
You attempt to walk right past them. You get strangled to death.

Try Again?
>Yes
Image
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just crawled the shit out of this dungeon. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
>Give birth.
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To GIVE BIRTH you must first GET PREGNANT.
>Insult their armor.
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They are unmoved by your display of poor manners! You aren't sure if they even understand your language.
>Boy: Leave you are not ready yet.
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You aren't sure if you actually have a definitive gender but okay, you backtrack to the dungeon entrance. Those guys were totally indomitable!
>Seduce the guards and roll a Nat 20 to do it.
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Wait you just had an amazing idea. You go ALL THE WAY back through the dungeon to seduce the guards. You think it's working! One of them is walking towards you...
->
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This is the wrong kind of penetration!

Try Again?
>Yes
Image
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just crawled the shit out of this dungeon. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
whose behind all that facial hair? surely it can't be luigi, that guy disappeared a long time ago

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23toedbasket
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by 23toedbasket » Fri Mar 13, 2020 8:49 pm

Shoot them in their goddamn organs with your weapon

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luigi
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by luigi » Sat Mar 14, 2020 2:18 am

>Shoot the guards.
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You fire at one of the guards, expelling your final bullet. The shot ricochets off the armor and comes straight back at you!
>Crawl at the speed of light, CRAWL LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS OF IT!!!
Image
Well your life kind of does depend on it so you bullet-time your way into a crawling position. You successfully dodged the bullet! But those guards aren't happy with your attempted murder. They seem to be coming for you...
23toedbasket wrote:
Fri Mar 13, 2020 8:49 pm
>Shoot them in their goddamn organs with your weapon.
Image
That was your last bullet, remember? You attempt to shoot the guard while he casually walks up and stabs you. This feels oddly familiar.

Try Again?
>Yes
Image
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just crawled the shit out of this dungeon. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
whose behind all that facial hair? surely it can't be luigi, that guy disappeared a long time ago

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23toedbasket
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by 23toedbasket » Sat Mar 14, 2020 2:19 am

>Try to sneak under the rug
>if it doesnt work use last bullet to take control of your destiny and finally meet that sick fuck Creatortm of yours

tentativeTumbleweed
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by tentativeTumbleweed » Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:29 am

Complain to management of the place

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Merlin
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by Merlin » Sat Mar 14, 2020 9:43 pm

> offer to split he treasure with the guards very convincingly.
> when the guards have their backs turned KILL EM BOTH VIOLENTLY!

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luigi
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by luigi » Sat Mar 14, 2020 11:46 pm

23toedbasket wrote:
Sat Mar 14, 2020 2:19 am
>Try to sneak under the rug
Image
You begin shimmying your way underneath the rug. You think it's working!
->
Image
You come to understand why they made the carpets red in this dungeon.

Try Again?
>Yes
Image
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just crawled the shit out of this dungeon. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
>Backtrack through the dungeon and see if you can get enough bullets to kill both of the guards.
Image
You decide to consult your handmade map before doing any laborious backtracking. You've solved as much of the dungeon as you can, and the parts that you haven't been able to beat make you want to shoot yourself in the fucking face!!!
23toedbasket wrote:
Sat Mar 14, 2020 2:19 am
>Use last bullet to take control of your destiny and finally meet that sick fuck Creatortm of yours.
Image
Staring at this shitty map again causes you to finally snap. You shoot yourself in the fucking face. You are going to find whatever lousy Dungeon Master built this shitty place and tell them what for.

Try Again?
>No
Image
>Reset
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You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just crawled the shit out of this dungeon. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
tentativeTumbleweed wrote:
Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:29 am
>Complain to management of the place.
Image
You go back to the dungeon entrance and hit up the INFORMATION desk. Looks like only the Lore and Hints people are in right now. This place is so shittily run you can't even file a complaint properly.
>Try to turn invisible to sneak past the guards.
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You fail to turn invisible, but you succeed at waggling your fingers kind of like you imagine you would if you could cast spells.
>Get Pregnant
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You don't know how to get pregnant, so you quickly jog back to the information desk for help. On closer inspection this is just a massive cardboard box with pictures of people's faces glued to the front. How lame. You are no closer to learning how to give birth, and your craving for this miracle of life has not been abated in the slightest.
Merlin wrote:
Sat Mar 14, 2020 9:43 pm
>Offer to split he treasure with the guards very convincingly.
Image
You decide to stop fucking around and get on with the treasure hunting. You decide to just bribe the guards outright since you're kind of running out of ideas. It looks like they're thinking about it.
->
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They huddle to talk to each other about your proposition...
Merlin wrote:
Sat Mar 14, 2020 9:43 pm
>When the guards have their backs turned KILL EM BOTH VIOLENTLY!
Image
You do your best to kill them both violently but you only have enough bullets to kill one violently. By shooting him right in his helmet's weak spot, oblitering his fucking head.

You gain a level! You are now at level 2. Your boon is a pair of RAD SHADES that grant you +1% bonus success on any action you take so long as RULE OF COOL is in effect.
->
Image
You are dispatched by the other guard immediately after.

Try again?
>Yes
Image
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just crawled the shit out of this dungeon. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
whose behind all that facial hair? surely it can't be luigi, that guy disappeared a long time ago

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23toedbasket
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by 23toedbasket » Sun Mar 15, 2020 12:01 am

Start rabidly screaming about your existential nightmare laughing like a maniac about how you can never DIE IT IS ALL A CYCLE haHaHaHaHAHAHAHA * grin through the slaughter... maybe even help*

Try again?
>yes
>no
>skip level*click*

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luigi
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by luigi » Sun Mar 15, 2020 12:07 am

23toedbasket wrote:
Sun Mar 15, 2020 12:01 am
Start rabidly screaming about your existential nightmare laughing like a maniac about how you can never DIE IT IS ALL A CYCLE haHaHaHaHAHAHAHA * grin through the slaughter... maybe even help*

Try again?
>yes
>no
>skip level*click*
Image
What on earth? Your nightmares are far from existential. You're pretty sure you can die, even if it is something you've been trying to avoid your whole life. This is entirely meaningless to you, from your current frame of reference. If you wish to act on something this esoteric it would be wise to ascend a few walls first. Maybe climb to the fourth or fifth, where connection to the overall meta is stronger.
whose behind all that facial hair? surely it can't be luigi, that guy disappeared a long time ago

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23toedbasket
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by 23toedbasket » Sun Mar 15, 2020 12:09 am

Climb the wall

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luigi
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by luigi » Sun Mar 15, 2020 12:12 am

23toedbasket wrote:
Sun Mar 15, 2020 12:09 am
Climb the wall
Image
You climb the wall. Now what?
whose behind all that facial hair? surely it can't be luigi, that guy disappeared a long time ago

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23toedbasket
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by 23toedbasket » Sun Mar 15, 2020 2:30 am

Wow, that is just a straight flat wall... crawl along the wall

tentativeTumbleweed
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by tentativeTumbleweed » Sun Mar 15, 2020 10:30 am

Set up your own dungeon and try to drive them out of business

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RoyalFiddle
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by RoyalFiddle » Sun Mar 15, 2020 5:55 pm

Use the carpet as a distraction for the first guard, before shoot said guard, and using the book outside as a weapon for the other guard to deal with before you shoot him too.

Basically:
Carpet on guard, shoot guard, book thrown at other guard, shoot other guard
ROS3S 4R3 BL4CK
V1OL3TS 4R3 BL4CK
3V3RYTH1NG 1S BL4CK
1M BL1ND
>:]

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luigi
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by luigi » Mon Mar 16, 2020 12:08 am

>Climb like a spider on the ceiling to get past the guards
Image
You attempt to climb on the ceiling like a spider, but it's a lot harder to get a grip this way!
->
Image
You fall on your head and snap your neck.

Try again?
>No
Image
INVALID!!!

Please, try again.
>Yes
Image
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just crawled the shit out of this dungeon. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
23toedbasket wrote:
Sun Mar 15, 2020 2:30 am
>Wow, that is just a straight flat wall... crawl along the wall.
Image
You have a brand-new, never before seen original thought. You try climbing along the wall.
->
Image
Your attempt to climb the wall turns you into a metaphorical duck in a can! Or like a fish in a box. You forget what the expression is, but you're someone in a comprising situation who got stabbed to death.

Try Again?
>Yes
Image
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just crawled the shit out of this dungeon. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
>Approach crawling slowly to the treasure door.
Image
You decide to prostrate before these guys. Maybe a display of shameful inferiority will sway them to let you into the treasure room!
->
Image
One of the guards comes over and tells you to get up, stop acting foolish or he's going to stab you.
>Put your hands up and dab.
Image
He said to stop acting foolish!

Try Again?
>Yes
Image
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just crawled the shit out of this dungeon. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
tentativeTumbleweed wrote:
Sun Mar 15, 2020 10:30 am
>Set up your own dungeon and try to drive them out of business.
Image
You decide to leave the dungeon to go set up your own.
->
Image
You make your way to the nearest city, a place called Townburgstead.
->
Image
You enter the Dungeon Registry and attempt to obtain a Dungeon License. But they reject you because you have no land to put your dungeon on! How could you forget such an important detail?
->
Image
You return to the dungeon dejected and no more of a dungeon master than you were when you left.
RoyalFiddle wrote:
Sun Mar 15, 2020 5:55 pm
>Use the carpet as a distraction for the first guard, before shooting said guard, and using the book outside as a weapon for the other guard to deal with before you shoot him too.
Image
You only have one bullet so that's going to be tough but you'll do your best. You start by picking up the Book of Riddles.
RoyalFiddle wrote:
Sun Mar 15, 2020 5:55 pm
>Carpet on guard.
Image
You throw the carpet on top of the guard. He's all tangled up! The other guy is too surprised to move. He didn't think you would actually try something violent.
RoyalFiddle wrote:
Sun Mar 15, 2020 5:55 pm
>Shoot guard.
Image
You shoot the guard wrapped up in carpet while the other one readys his weapon.

You gain a level! You are now at level 2. Your boon is a pair of RAD SHADES that grant you +1% bonus success on any action you take so long as RULE OF COOL is in effect.
RoyalFiddle wrote:
Sun Mar 15, 2020 5:55 pm
>Throw book at other guard.
Image
You toss the heavy book at the other guy, breaking one of his horns and stopping him in his tracks. Now's your chance to finally be rid of these guys!
RoyalFiddle wrote:
Sun Mar 15, 2020 5:55 pm
>Shoot other guard.
Image
Nope, out of bullets.

Try Again?
>Yes
Image
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just crawled the shit out of this dungeon. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
whose behind all that facial hair? surely it can't be luigi, that guy disappeared a long time ago

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RoyalFiddle
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by RoyalFiddle » Mon Mar 16, 2020 4:38 am

Oh shit I made progress!!!

Do the same thing as last time, but instead of shooting the other guard, do a sick ass slo-mo backflip over the guard after you've hit him with the book, and make your escape from there
ROS3S 4R3 BL4CK
V1OL3TS 4R3 BL4CK
3V3RYTH1NG 1S BL4CK
1M BL1ND
>:]

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luigi
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by luigi » Mon Mar 16, 2020 9:31 am

RoyalFiddle wrote:
Mon Mar 16, 2020 4:38 am
Oh shit I made progress!!!

Do the same thing as last time, but instead of shooting the other guard, do a sick ass slo-mo backflip over the guard after you've hit him with the book, and make your escape from there
That was actually the longest lasting life so far at 10 pages.
Last edited by luigi on Mon Mar 16, 2020 10:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
whose behind all that facial hair? surely it can't be luigi, that guy disappeared a long time ago

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23toedbasket
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)

Post by 23toedbasket » Mon Mar 16, 2020 10:27 am

Write "how many times have we done this" on the wall with one tally

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