Homestuck.XYZ 2.0

Whatever it is, it definitely used to be human. Your guess is that the person themself wasn't an anomaly, but was affected by one and as such their body took on drastic transformations and killed them in the process.

Rib machine broke.

DR G.UN: Head to the cafeteria to grab a much needed cup of coffee

The door to the cafeteria is locked.

...

Fuck.

DR G.UN: Search corpse for key

you NEED yoru FUCKIGN nmCOFFEENOw GIVEITGIVEITGIVEITGIVEITGIVEIT

But it was April Fools. And the joke is that you are going to suffer. No coffee for you.
Ha. Ha Ha. Ha.

>DR G UN: Go to storage to find something you can use to bust the cafeteria door down

To get to the SECONDARY CAFETERIA, you'll have to make your way through STORAGE to get to the ELEVATOR. So you head over to the entrance to Storage.

You arrive in STORAGE. Looks like the power's out for some reason.

>Investigate open container

You crouch down and begin to slowly make your way through storage, checking between each shipping container for hostile entities, sentient or otherwise. You stop when you come across a container that's been opened.

You cautiously move around the side of the container and come to the opening.


But... it's empty.

Oh fuck.

>Blast your gun wildly and without abandon! get the hell out of there!

https://mspfa.com/?s=35022&p=1
Don't have much so far, but there's a short comic about the origins of a future character, Abhorrent Benefactor / AB / Absolute Bastard.
Also if I see anyone being horny over him I'm cancelling this entire comic and no one will ever know how it would've ended.

OH FUCK!!!



You are now the CLUELESS JANITOR, although your friends and family just call you CJ. Up until a few moments ago, you'd been listening to loud music through your headphones when something bumped against the door of the janitor's closet. Then an alarm went off for a while, so you kind of just hid in here until it stopped.
What will you do?

>CJ: Examine spray bottles, take most hazardous chemical as a weapon

CJ: Equip MOP

You attempt to take one of the spray bottles, but unfortunately this janitor locker is only a cardboard cutout. Nothing here is actually real, leaving you to stroke longingly at the cleaning apparatus.
:,(

You go to drink the cleaning liquid on the shelf, which is really the only real thing in here aside from you and the mop, when you notice that it is NOT ACTUALLY CLEANING LIQUID.


It is a bottle of something labelled "WUNDERLUBE".