Homestuck.XYZ 2.0

>underpaid workers: sigh and complain about how you don't get paid enough before geting consumed by HM

The three of you grumble and complain about how you don't get paid enough for this shit.




A bunch of gruesome shit soon follows, but it thankfully isn't shown in this panel. Shadowed Anomaly has followed Hulking Mass into the new room.

>SA: look for an exit

>HM: use newly absorbed worker powers to invoke SERVICETECH LEVEL 1: INVOKE SHIFT MANAGER. then, consume them too

> HM: Consume SA.

HM proceeds to throw up the tattered remains of two of the coats.


You get a KEYCARD!! With this card, you'll be able to access more anomalies and rooms.

>SA:Scream at the keycard

You fail to scream at the keycard because you are now DOCTOR GEORGIA UN, a 3RD CLASS SCIENTIST working for THE INSTITUTION, a government agency dedicated to THE STUDY OF WEIRD SHIT. The DEPARTMENT you work in is the DEPARTMENT OF ANOMALY CONTAINMENT AND STUDY, where useless idiots mess with things they probably shouldn't and keep said things in rooms that, judging by the alarms currently going off, FAIL TO CONTAIN THE ANOMALIES PROPERLY BECAUSE THIS PLACE APPARENTLY DOESN'T HAVE A HIGH ENOUGH BUDGET TO SUCCEED IN DOING THE ONE THING IT WAS CREATED TO DO.
Despite the incompetent blinding idiocy of your co-workers, you have managed to climb the Institution's hierarchy to where you are now. You have your own OFFICE, for god's sake!
Anyway. Enough about how great you are (although let's be real, you kind of are the best).
What will you do?

That's DOCTOR G. Un to you! After all, you didn't get a doctorate for nothing (although you do think your talents are wasted here working with these idiots).
You got the STAPLER. A formidable weapon you mean self-defense tool during times like this.

No signal. Typical.

>DR. G. UN: Fold rules poster into origami legisword

>DR. G. UN: Grab the BACKUP PLAN that you always keep in your office.

You take a look at the REMEMBER THE RULES poster.



What the fuck is the Wunderlube Incident?

You shuffle through the papers on your desk to look for the fabled BACKUP PLAN you supposedly keep. You're about to remember that you don't actually keep a backup plan when you find a NOTE TO YOURSELF.



You don't remember writing this.

Suddenly some guy with a gun and flavorless jelly from the cafeteria on his head comes crashing into your office.


He gets closer and starts waving the gun in your face, muttering something about a hivemind and freedom.


So, since he's clearly an anomaly or affected by one, and is threatening you with that weapon, you proceed to beat him to death with your stapler. This awards you 1 SURVIVAL SKILL, which automatically goes into your SKILL ROOTS.

You decide to ditch the now bloody STAPLER for the more sophisticated GUN. All the stapler did was make a mess. Sure, you managed to kill the guy, but look at all this. Disgusting.
Speaking of which, shouldn't there be a janitor cleaning up this mess? Seriously, this is appalling.

You inspect your SKILL ROOTS and find that you've achieved the SELF DEFENSE skill, which adds 1 SURVIVAL POINT to the SKILL GAUGE.

>Put the stapler in your pocket in case your gun runs out of ammo.

>inspect that goo

Dead is what it is. You actually studied this anomaly a few months back, though. Just some cliche goo parasite from space that wants to end all human life.


You exit your office.


What the fuck