Worst Character?

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BrobyDDark
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Re: Worst Character?

Post by BrobyDDark » Tue Jan 05, 2021 2:59 am

I've posted here before but I feel I must discuss who the absolute worst characters are.

On the human side: All of the Beta Kids are great ((((until the Epilogues and HS2, where Jade starts to absolutely suck hardcore)))), the Alpha Kids are utterly awful. Except for Roxy until...the Epilogues and HS2 where she started to absolutely suck hardcore. Candy John is a blessed child deserving of so much more, but he feels so much more bitch-made than Homestuck-proper John who fist-fought the main villain for making bad fanfiction. Meat John is a tragic boy, but was basically a husk of what was a good honest character.

Dirk is shit. Every time his orange text pops up I know I'm gonna be monologued at and talked down to and listen to a strawman of people who don't like the Epilogues. He's a poorly written bland piece of shit villain, who stopped being cool after he entered The Medium. Fuck Dirk. Dirk sucks. He's also an asshole.

Jake. Who could like this man, besides Dirk? Easily manipulated, incapable of having a thought of his own, hyper-sexualized for teh lolzorz, and he does NOTHING. He accomplishes NOTHING the entire series. He became that gay character really quickly. The one more focused on their gay romance than accomplishing anything. For how poorly written and douchey Dirk is, he still managed to be an engaging gay character. Probably because he's a character first, and dating Jake second (unless Jake was just in a scene, in which case he has to think about and sulk over his Jakelust.) Jake, though? What does he manage to accomplish? He revives Dirk...and that's IT. "Oh but he stopped Aranea and Dark Jane" in a timeline that doesn't even exist anymore. Jake is hella selfish, too, and way too naieve.

Jane. The literal fascist dictator genocider. In both timelines. How the fuck can a character be consistently awful, both in and out of universe?

On the troll side:

All of them are awful. I don't like the trolls. I never liked the trolls. The trolls are dumb and stupid and honest to god ruined for me what was a good webcomic about friendship and growing up.

Tavros- bitchmade weakling with ONE redeeming quality: he has a base level of kindness, more than can be said of any character beyond the Beta Kids.

Karkat- holy SHIT did his bitching get old fast.

Sollux- It-it's like Hackerman had a baby with a god damn cockroach. Just fucking die already, dude, your constant near deaths and real deaths are dumb. Also, he acts like every single "hacker" you find on the net. Pompous, overconfident, and aggressive.

Terezi- Her interactions with John and Dave are overall cute and engaging, but holy shit does she jump between love interests fast. Her constant whinging about Vriska and her utter disregard for every other troll on the meteor besides Vriska and Karkat don't make her scenes fun.

Gamzee- Gamzee.

Feferi- Wow, another do nothing character- but passive aggressive, rich, and pink!

Eridan- ruined by bad writing turning him into just a creepy incel fish.

Nepeta- Do nothing character.

Equius- Creepy do nothing character.

Aradia- Makes everything confusing for no reason.

Kanaya- Ruined by bad-writing turning her into just Rose's keeper.

Vriska- The big one. Are we sure she's a spider and not a fucking cockroach? Maybe her and Sollux are siblings? Manipulative, bitchy, spiteful, and all around a massive pain in the ass. But she's also the only Troll ACTUALLY DOING ANYTHING. Like, god damn. She actively makes the whole Troll faction worse by both representing them so often, and making the rest of them seem like whiny slackers.

Beforus Trolls- I can't remember half of these worthless background characters. They're all shitty over-exaggerations of various cliques, and I got enough of cliques when I was in middle-school. Also Meenah is just fish Vriska, so see above from "But" to "slackers."

Post canon:

Jade- Imagine taking a character known for her kindness and innocence, and writing her to be a sleazy bitch who intentionally tries to ruin people's relationships. And then having that be her only character traits in both timelines. Awful character.

Rose- Holy shit what the fuck why would you do this to Rose. All her and Kanaya wanted was to be HAPPY. But now she's a wife-abandoning robot in one timeline, and someone known for her infidelity and lying in the other! Awful character.

Jane- See her previous entry. It's worth noting that in the post-canon she's also potentially a rapist, definitely an addict to a magic lollipop, and potentially abusive to her child, and definitely abusive to another of her young relatives. Also, Jake was obviously uncomfortable with Jane also dating Gamzee, and she seems to have never given a fuck if he cared or not. Awful character.

Roxy- Just literally Dave in one timeline, and someone willing to sell out her relationship with her husband, over a woman most definitely sparking a literal fucking race-war, who lets her creepy homocidal maniac clown lover near her young son, and a snake skeleton responsible for bringing this potential child-abuser back to corrupt more people in the other timeline. Also a living pamphlet for transgenderism, to blandly educate people on something that could have been naturally woven into the story. Awful character.

Dirk- See his previous entry. Like Jane, also potentially a rapist. ALSO potentially incestuous, and that's just gross. Awful character.

Jake- Somehow even more of a pushover in the post-canon. Actual fucking beta male. Nothing but eye candy for whoever is manipulating him that week, and is incapable of standing up for himself. Even BRAIN GHOSTS are bullying and objectifying him. Awful, awful character.

In conclusion, most of the characters are the worst, but the most worse are Dirk, Jane, and Jade.

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Re: Worst Character?

Post by harmoniousCalamity » Tue Jan 05, 2021 12:00 pm

BrobyDDark wrote:
Tue Jan 05, 2021 2:59 am

> Also Meenah is just fish Vriska, so see above from "But" to "slackers."
Holy shit. Yeah no, you're 100% correct. I never realized that.
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Re: Worst Character?

Post by quicksaveisF5 » Thu Jan 07, 2021 4:50 am

BrobyDDark wrote:
Tue Jan 05, 2021 2:59 am
snop
I agree.

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Re: Worst Character?

Post by classpectanon » Fri Jan 08, 2021 2:23 am

my genuine answer in terms of sheer unlikeability is probably cronus
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Re: Worst Character?

Post by Deacon Blues » Thu Jan 14, 2021 5:03 pm

I cannot bring myself to give a shit about any member of the felt, I'm sorry. I like the midnight crew, I'm pretty receptive to the intermission and its shenanigans, but I just don't care about a single member of the felt. I find it really hard to tell them apart since they're all basically the same colour, and all talk through black text, so in my mind they just all sort of mix together into one weird comedic force that I just don't find funny.
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Re: Worst Character?

Post by PurplePest29 » Sat Jan 16, 2021 8:39 am

Hate Jack noir everywhere when he starts getting easily manipulated and beaten. Remember when he fought both davesprite AND Bro before even getting guardian powers? All he had were some tentacles. He was really strong!!
Not to mention, the way that all his plans succeeded were so cool.
But then he flies off the handle after his session was scratched, understandably, and destroys literally everything. Whyyyy???????? Tho??????

I actually thought that Eridan's plan to join Jack was kinda cool but then id clearly forgotten that for some reason Bec is literally insane now and wants nothing except to kill.
Kind of my same problem with Lord English at times. What is he getting? Does murder turn him on THAT much?

The trolls' jack seemed cool, with his plans to work along with the trolls and everything. And was especially cool during the intermission, but then he comes back as a robot and gets his shit beat.
Alpha kids' Jack was just thrown in prison early on. Poor guy didnt even get his time to shine before being mulched up.

We dont get to see Caliborn's Jack but its understandable hed get beat by Caliborn.



I hope that hs2 Jack can survive these new kids.
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Re: Worst Character?

Post by Shitpost Lizard » Sun Jan 17, 2021 1:46 pm

PurplePest29 wrote:
Sat Jan 16, 2021 8:39 am
id clearly forgotten that for some reason Bec is literally insane now and wants nothing except to kill.
I thought that was a result of the "cancer" (botched frog breeding) that the trolls did to the kids' universe.
That it made Jack more violent and chaotic than he's normally supposed to be by the game's programming.
Kind of my same problem with Lord English at times. What is he getting? Does murder turn him on THAT much?
And I'm pretty sure destruction is just Caliborn's biological imperative as an evil cherub. He has less excuse for it than Jack being a game construct, but he's also repeatedly described as being emotionally stunted, so rational thought and reason aren't exactly his forte.
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Re: Worst Character?

Post by Ethatre » Sun Jan 17, 2021 2:55 pm

PurplePest29 wrote:
Sat Jan 16, 2021 8:39 am
We dont get to see Caliborn's Jack but its understandable hed get beat by Caliborn.
we do actually see him! caliborn had him assassinate calliope's dream self.
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Re: Worst Character?

Post by doldrumCalamity » Mon Jan 18, 2021 2:49 pm

vriska based purely on the basis that shed be entirely redeemable had she not sexually assaulted tavros everything else i could probably see past as "oh damn homeslice you kinda fucked up and had a real shit childhood" but sexual assault takes her from "oh obviously hussie watched NGE and is just projecting his asuka dreams onto vriska" to "haha i take genuine joy from seeing this character in pain"
im FuCKING kiinniing bRo Bo)

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Re: Worst Character?

Post by suicidebystar » Thu Jan 21, 2021 4:35 pm

I have a lot of unpopular opinions, so I guess I'll start by talking about the "worst characters" on this thread that I disagree with. By the way, your opinions are valid! Don't attack me based on anything I say.

I don't know why, but I quite liked Cronus. Like, he was an asshole, but he was well written, and maybe it's all the fanfiction I've been reading, but he seems... lonely. He pushes people away because he can't admit that he's got a problem. Also, he grew up to become Dualscars, and I really hate what Mindfang did to him. That was so shitty, and I think it just makes him a lot more interesting, the way he couldn't handle his anger based on the manipulation he endured and assassinated Dolorosa.

Secondly, Dirk is fucking badass! I personally haven't read the Epilogues, and I have no intention to, because people often talk about how bad they make everyone. Well, Dirk was always meant to be a shitty character. This is evident when he grew up to become Br*. But, the thing about him, is that being surrounded by splinters, he saw that he was the villain in someone's story, and he accepted that, and honest to god, tried to change. Which I think makes him super interesting.

Finally, Vriska. I am NOT going to excuse what she did. But... she's a well written character, and she's complicated. Homestuck doesn't excuse her actions, they just present her as she would be if she was a real person. No filter, just raw, pure complication. Does she hate Tavros or love him? Does she love her friends or want to kill them? I think, the reason why I love JohnVris is because for a few, fleeting moments, we caught a glimpse of what it would be like if Vriska was a normal human, and she was happy. He really brings out the best in her, and I think that's awesome.

Okay! Sorry about that. My worst character is probably... Jake. He's just a bit useless, really. My worst character would be Jane, but at least making her this sexy badass awesome villain made her interesting at least.

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Re: Worst Character?

Post by soy_un_peredor » Fri Feb 05, 2021 6:12 am

jane's actions in beyond canon just make her awful for me.

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Re: Worst Character?

Post by stark » Fri Feb 05, 2021 8:55 am

it's calliope and it's not even close, people complain about vriska or eridan or whoever as being mean and shit but from a narrative perspective, considering that you're reading a story and all, calliope wasted my real life time and invoked nothing but bland annoyance.
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Re: Worst Character?

Post by TantamountTurnabout » Sat Apr 03, 2021 11:54 pm

Vriska's arc got surgically removed from her character leaving nothing behind but an invincible smirk, Gamzee had any character painted over with "Evil Joke Clown", Tavros exists to be bullied his entire life and then murdered, Nepeta is either uncharacterized or just doesn't need an arc but no one meaningfully interacts with her so she may as well not exist to the plot, John's character is defined by being told what to do by others and he never confronts thinks about or changes this, Dirk making himself the Big Brain Mastermind takes information away from other characters and prevents them from having thoughts or opinions of their own,

It's less, these Characters are Bad and more just, their stories are a bit disappointing. Even the worst of them aren't too irritating or time consuming without having a point or an interesting dynamic with someone. In the moment you can just sort of get used to them, enjoy them for who they are, but a lot of times if you zoom out to the story as a whole, a lot of major characters just get sort of dropped or used up by the plot without much opportunity to grow or Matter.
*demonterializes*

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