Homestuck.XYZ 2.0

Granted, you can have as many wishes as you want. The universe is your oyster. However after spending years with these abilities, you realize how truly lonely you are, the one being in the universe with no problems, with no one who truly can understand you. You are a God, but, a lonely God with no real purpose or meaning. Is anything really real or was this all just some sick, twisted thing that you made with your powers at some point. No matter what you do, how many things you change in reality, you realize that ultimately, nothing matters, has consequences, or truly means anything now. You are the only real thing in what is now your universe. In the end you question whether even you are real or just some figment of imagination. You kill yourself completely in a desperate attempt to prove that you are truly real.

Here's my wish: I wish that this wish that I am currently making did nothing

granted, the wish made a person named nothing.

i wish the trolls from Homestuck™ were real

Granted, they are real but you will never meet them

I wish I could spell everything correctly

Granted. You are empowered with the correct spelling of every word in every language. Unfortunately, you lose the ability to write, type, and speak, making the power useless.

I wish I didn't require sleep.

Granted. You are now a stone statue that doesn't require sleep.

I wish for a time machine

granted. the time machine can only go back

I wish I was bald

Granted. Everyone you meet will now put their hands on you incredibly smooth head 24/7

I wish I had an infinite supply of Toblorone

Granted. You now have an infinite supply of toblerone. It's all in your house. Toblerone is everywhere. You are being crushed by the toblerone.

i wish i had better work ethic.

You suddenly are able to work as much as you can, without any of the niggling little feelings of laziness. However, the second you look away from what you are doing, it all reverts to nothing, all of said work getting undone in the blink of an idea. Furthermore, the second you give up on working, the second you lose that work ethic, you regain the ethic, forced to work once more. Enjoy the sisyphean task, fucker.

I wish to free the genie from their imprisonment in the lamp.

Granted. The genie is now free and destroying the world with his newfound freedom

I wish someone loved me and acsepted everything about me

Granted. They love and accept everything about you, allowing your personality to deteriorate as they challenge nothing you say or do. They have personality traits you can't love and accept, thus you will never truly be happy in the relationship. Eventually you die unfulfilled romantically, with nobody but them.

I wish for a piece of normal candy.

You get a piece of the legendary Normal candy. It turns out that Normal's candy sucks and might also be literal poison. whoops.

i wish for some money so i can get a burger and some fries and a milkshake too probably

Granted. You get enough money to dig that stuff out of the dumpster, witch is no money.

I wish people liked me

granted. They all like you so much that they become literal yanderes

I wish for this thread to never exists

Granted. This thread no longer exists. Which means this post never exits. Witch means this thread exists

I wish people responded faster

Granted. I typed this response and wish fasterthan my last post.

I wish for world peace without the use of genocide, mind control, or aliens

granted, the earth becomes a snowball for a couple thousand years, creating peace.

I wish I could get up of my bed in the morning without any problems

Granted. You never get up ever again

I wish I could mind control people

You can mind control only yourself.

I wish to be rich.

youre now a guy named rich.

i wish no one complained about act 7