Merlin wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 7:14 pm
>Sam: 4 is the magic number.
...that's right! 4! Four! FOUR!
FOUR IS THE MAGIC NUMBER!!!!
>Next.
If you were more socially aware, or maybe more sober, you would realize that shaking people and screaming in their faces about the magic of the number four is unacceptable behavior.
>Next.
FLAM: One is to three as three is to five and five is to four and four is the magic number!!!!
FL-01: ...
FL-03: ...
FLAM: Don't you GET IT!?
FL-01: ...
FL-02: ...
FL-03: ...
FLAM: IT'S THE SMALLEST COMPOSITE NUMBER YOU GUYS!!!!
FL-01: ...
FL-02: ...
FL-03: ...WHAT.
FLAM: Wait... why is the greek numeral for four a triangle!? How does that make any sense!?!?!?!?
FL-01: WHAT IS A. GREEK?
FLAM: I don't... what? I don't know! That's not important. Look at this.
FL-02: ...
FL-03: ...
FLAM: Do you see what I'm doing with my hands?
FL-01: YES.
FL-02: I DO NOT. UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE. OF. THE HAND GESTURE.
FL-03: ONE HAND HAS. ONE DIGIT ERECT. WHILE THE. OTHER HAS TWO DIGITS. CLEARLY REPRESENTATIVE. OF HOW US THREE ROBOTS ARE. STANDING.
FL-01: OH. YES.
FL-02: CLEARLY.
FLAM: What? No. It's another way to show FOUR!!!!
FL-02: BUT THERE IS. ONLY THREE DIGITS ERECTED...
FLAM: EXACTLY!!!! Are the ROMANS CONSPIRING with the GREEKS!?!?!?!? Why do their threes equal four...
FL-03: WHAT IS A. ROMAN?
FL-01: I AM. UNSURE. I WOULD STILL LIKE TO. KNOW WHAT A GREEK. IS.
FLAM: You guys are missing the point.
FLAM: None of you are questioning what's really important here.
FLAM: Why is the Bengali symbol for four, an eight.
FLAM: EIGHT IS DOUBLE WHAT FOUR IS SUPPOSED TO BE
FL-02: ...BENGALI?
FLAM: Guys the duodecimal system is based on the number four, despite the fact that duo means two and deca means ten.
FLAM: Why is nobody DOING anything about this!?!?!?!?
FL-01: ...
FL-02: ...
FL-03: ...
FLAM: The four elements...
FLAM: The Bases of Power...
FLAM: Torah, Zaboor, Injeel, Quran...
FLAM: Even in my DNA there are... four... oh my god...
FLAM: Guanine... Cytosine, Adenine, Thymine...
FLAM: Oh god how deep does the conspiracy go!?!?!?!?
FLAM: I HAVE FOUR APPENDAGES!
FLAM: THE CAUSE THE MATTER THE END THE FORM
FLAM: WHY DO CHAIRS HAVE FOUR LEGS!?!?!?!?
FLAM: ....
FL-01: ...
FL-02: ...
FL-03: ...
>Next.
The weight of these realizations, borne of sickness from drinking the garbage water, threaten to destroy your mind. You do everything within your power to focus on a single point in the middle-distance, and steady your breathing. For a 12 year old kid who's never done any drugs before, you sure are handling this well.
12 is evenly divisible by four... no, stop. Focus on your breathing.
>Next.
With great reluctance, you provide your glorious new leader with emotional support. Wait why is this guy your leader all of a sudden, all he did was show up and start vomiting everywhere.
Whatever, it's not your job to question such things. As an ASCENDANT ROBOT it is your duty to obey the orders of ASCENDANT ROYALTY. According to your sensors that includes this kid for some reason, so... yeah you provide your glorious leader with some emotional support.
BrobyDDark wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 7:09 pm
>Flam: Your crew is complete.
Filled with determination and friendship thanks to the support of your loyal HOBOT, FL-01, you manage to shift your attention to the motley crew standing before you. 3 HOBOTS... plus one Sam makes FOUR!!!! YOUR CREW IS COMPLETE!!!!
BrobyDDark wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 7:09 pm
>Flam: COMMENCE OPERATION "TAKE OVER THIS GOD DAMN FRIGATE"
FLAM: LEGION!
FL-01: !
FL-02: !
FL-03: !
FLAM: COMMENCE OPERATION:
FLAM: "TAKE OVER THIS GOD DAMN FRIGATE"!
FL-01: ...
FL-02: ...
FL-03: ...
FLAM: What?
FL-01: WE ARE. UNFAMILIAR WITH THIS. OPERATION.
FL-03: I AM. NEW. TO THIS CREW. AND HAVE NOT BEEN INFORMED OF ANY. OPERATIONS.
FL-02: ME NEITHER. ALTHOUGH. I AM NOT NEW. TO THIS CREW. BUT. I HAVE BEEN INSIDE. PLAYING GAMES. SO IT IS POSSIBLE THAT. I MISSED IT. WHEN I WAS. INSIDE PLAYING. GAMES.
FLAM: ....Right.
FLAM: So the operation is as such,
FLAM: And as follows,
FLAM: It is thusly,
FLAM: That...
FLAM: Hm...
What
is the first step in taking over an ASCENDANT FRIGATE from the inside?
Merlin wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 7:14 pm
>Sam: Take your crew and go overthrow the power structure around here.
Yeah you guess there's no better place to start than right here and now. You have no idea which door to take to get out of here. That is, if any of them actually lead anywhere useful.
Merlin wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 7:14 pm
>Cinnamon: Just throw your TV at it.
WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT YOU HOIST THE TELEVISION ALOFT
Merlin wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 7:14 pm
>This is a rational response to actual danger.
AND THROW IT!
>Next.
Frighteningly enough, it seems the SPIDER has left no corpse. That can only mean...
>Next.
It's still alive, somewhere in your room.
Merlin wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 7:14 pm
>Robot: Take the fish out of the lock.
You grasp the FISH firmly by its tail and pull it out of the lock. It comes out in one piece, albeit crushed and suffocated. You have killed it in your stupidity.
Merlin wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 7:14 pm
>Robot: See if it will fetch the tools for you.
You give the FISH a quick command before tossing it in the water in order to fetch the TOOLS.
...It doesn't seem to be obeying your commands. Instead it just opts to bleed in the water
Punchlion wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 8:28 pm
>Robot: Use your detectors to sense where your body is: arms, legs, torso... etc. Establish bluetooth connection and begin iron-man-ing right there.
You cannot use your sensors to locate any of your body parts until your ANTENNA is repaired! Along with this, the ANTENNA is required for a BLUETOOTH CONNECTION.
Punchlion wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 8:28 pm
>Post a recap of what's happened so far.
Mamma-Mia, I guess this story
is getting a little long...
The Hit Webcomic ROBOQUEST began on January 31st, 2020. Written by Luigi the Plumber of Sarasaland (formerly known as a resident of the Mushroom Kingdom) it is the story of a BOUNTY HUNTING ROBOT as it attempts to find and hunt down criminals in outer space. It is also an excuse to draw funny pictures of robots.
Our star and MAIN PROTAGONIST, the BOUNTY HUNTING ROBOT is first seen standing around in its SHIP, amidst a CATASTROPHIC SHIP FAILURE renders it unable to move. This disrupts the ROBOT's ongoing quest, its search for a BOUNTY to hunt and claim reward for.
The ROBOT spends the first little while messing around in its room. It puts a SWORD in its ARM slot and then attempts to draw that SWORD, disconnecting its own TORSO in the process. After falling into a heap of parts its LEGS gain sentience and begin enacting a plan for SPACE PIRACY. It is unknown (to the reader at least) why the LEGS gained sentience at this moment, but regardless of why, the ROBOT knows it must get them back under control before they use the ROBOT's SHIP for PIRACY.
During all this the ROBOT's pet CAT drinks GASOLINE and gets high, knocking itself unconscious. The LEGS use this opportunity to attempt to cut open the RELIQUARY CAT and retrieve the EPIC SPACE WEAPONRY stored inside. The ROBOT, now just a HEAD and TORSO hopping around, manages to get to the CAT first, crushing its little body and equipping the TECHNOMAGICAL FORK from the carcass.
Out of spite, the LEGS then equipped one of the ROBOT's fallen ARMS. Unfortunately for the LEGS, the ARM was still loyal to the ROBOT prime. While the ARM and LEGS got distracted making music, the ROBOT remembered the entire reason it went through the trouble of finding the FORK oh so long ago and finally used it to put an end to the LICH's presence in this universe. The BUNNY that housed its soul would forever contain three holes from where the mighty FORK had stabbed it during its exorcism of the great evil.
Some other stuff happened and by the end of it the ROBOT had used the FORK to reclaim both its ARM and LEGS, thus ending CHAPTER 1.
Chapter 2 begins with the ROBOT messing around some more, doing stuff like painting with blood and then realizing that there's blood everywhere and maybe they should clean up. Unfortunately the ROBOT got distracted with stuff on its shelf and ended up starting a FIRE that threatened to destroy its SHOES! The SHOES were retrieved safely, but the FIRE continued to spread, its job of expansion made so much easier by the GASOLINE spilled all over the floor of the SHIP. The ROBOT tried many things to put out the fire, including at one point sticking its own HEAD in the blaze, but all that did was destroy its ANTENNA.
After a few more failed attempts, the ROBOT finally had the idea to just open the trapdoor and let the vacuum of space suck out all the OXYGEN in the SHIP. Now that the CAT was dead, there was no need to maintain a consistent OXYGEN level inside the SHIP after all. Unfortunately the VACUUM was so strong it pulled our ROBOT right out into the frigid outside, where it found the source of the SHIP's shutdown - it had run into a pair of purple space monsters called TRITOPI (singular TRITOPUS). The ROBOT initially got off on a VERY wrong foot with the monsters and ended up killing one of them with its powerful SPACE WEAPONRY. This of course only served to anger the other space monster, and the ROBOT used the FORK to begin fleeing.
After fleeing for a couple of pages, the TRITOPUS had already caught up to the ROBOT. In a last ditch effort to save itself, the ROBOT sacrificed its LEGS to the belly of the beast. The LEGS, being a crafty SPACE PIRATE, managed to steal the FORK in the nick of time, and used it to escape the TRITOPUS' MAW. It then flew towards a large red FRIGATE in hopes of taking it over in its first act of successful SPACE PIRACY. The ROBOT managed to convince the TRITOPUS to chase down the LEGS, in order to stop the FORK from wrecking havoc on the SOLAR SYSTEM (and maybe the rest of the universe too, who knows).
Oh yeah we passed into CHAPTER 3 sometime during all this.
So some more stuff kept happening like the TRITOPUS and ROBOT had some interactions where we learned more about TRITOPUS culture and mating habits, and we even learned its name (G'KGLAHTULON).
The LEGS, being robotic and all, managed to sneak onto the FRIGATE fairly easily. This was thanks to the fact that almost 99% of the inhabitants on board were robotic. The LEGS played a COMMUNIST ANTHEM for the people of the FRIGATE in order to make the point that it was time to share. Share with the LEGS specifically. Or else.
The EMPRESS scared the LEGS out of her CONTROL ROOM. Once they were back outside they saw the commotion happening down below, on the deck (G'KGLAHTULON and the ROBOT fighting the EMPRESS' army) and decided to join in. Of course, the LEGS wanted the favor of the FRIGATE's crew, so they focused their assault on the TRITOPUS. The power of the FORK was no match for G'KGLAHTULON, who exploded and died.
The EMPRESS consulted her crew, the ROBOT was captured (after failing to rescue a toothless TRITOPUS strapped to the deck) and CHAPTER 3 ended. The LEGS flew away to go take over another ship. Using a FORKTECH they teleported to the SECOND-CLOSEST SPACE VESSEL which, in case you've forgotten (as the LEGS surely did) is just the ROBOT's SHIP.
While the ROBOT was being taken up to see the EMPRESS we met a couple of sweet and amazingly well-written characters, the TWINS. Their names are revealed to be Cinnamon Flim and Sam Flam, and they are lifelong prisoners of the EMPRESS, who they call their STEP-MOM. She had gifted them a CLOWN for their birthday, but of course this is a terrible gift because all children hate clowns. Using her prodigious powers of DEDUCTION, Cinnamon Flim sleuths out that the CLOWN is depowered, and in fact not a threat. With this revelation securely lodged between her brain folds she begins searching for her brother, who has been hiding from the CLOWN this entire time.
Meanwhile the ROBOT takes advantage of the mentally handicapped for its own personal gain. Its HEAD is then put into a machine by the EMPRESS. The machine is able to display and backup all the MEMORIES and DATA stored within a ROBOT. The EMPRESS plans to save all the information from this ROBOT, as she believes it to be stronger (and possibly smarter) than her own legions. Once that process is done she intends on reverse-engineering the superior BOUNTY HUNTING ROBOT and to use it's designs to build her new and improved robot legion.
Meanwhile the twins are just fucking around, eating cat food. The usual. The LEGS are going through an existential crisis around this time.
The EMPRESS began watching the BOUNTY HUNTING ROBOT's life from its moment of creation. This seems like a huge waste of time considering she could just get her legions to do it and report back with any useful intel they find but maybe she's just a curious person? In the ROBOT's memories we see a number of familiar items, and watch as a group of... Scientists? Engineers? Something like that, watch it complete basic tasks and simple puzzles as part of some sort of ROBOT TRAINING.
Some more stuff happens and the TWINS have a DANCE PARTY. Oh and I forgot to mention at some point it was revealed that the EMPRESS was out here on sort of a personal salvage operation, basically looting outer space for wayward treasures. Well it turns out the garbage she was looting this time was actually the ROBOT's SHIP. The LEGS who were on board at the time didn't take too kindly to this and tried to fight back, only to get knocked out into space and lose the FORK in the process. Luckily they managed to grab the TOY ROBOT (which was a thing from earlier don't worry about it) and began using its weak-ass, weak ass rocket to begin heading back towards the FRIGATE because god damn if these LEGS aren't the most dedicated SPACE PIRATES ever.
We also see during all this that a HORDE of TRITOPI are arriving to swarm the FRIGATE. Considering this is now the location where 2 have died in quick succession and one is still strapped down in constant confinement, I'd say their reaction is justified. We have yet to see the impact they've had on the FRIGATE, if any at all.
The ROBOT in the past messed around with the room puzzles, made a bunny friend, figured out warp pads, and powered up the TOYBOT for the first time. The kids enacted a poorly thought out plan to make their way down the GARBAGE CHUTE as a last ditch effort to escape their prison cell bedroom. This plan resulted in Sam Flam being dropped, as Cinnamon's lame knots came undone, and Sam fell beyond the reach of her senses, leaving her to believe he was dead.
Sam was not dead however, as he had successfully landed in the GARBAGE ROOM, a massive warehouse in the FRIGATE's HULL where all of the GARBAGE CHUTES lead. Sam drank the GARBAGE WATER in a misguided attempt to improve his stats, but unfortunately for him this is not a video game and he has been tripping out of his mind ever since. Despite this, he has somehow come into control of a crew of HOBO ROBOTS, also known as HOBOTS. They don't make sense and are not something a logical ruler would ever create, but this is a space boat piloted by a tarantula lady so hey HOBOTS it is.
Chapter 4 became Chapter 5 during all this.
The ROBOT in the past got mad at all the instruction its creators were giving it, because the ROBOT believes itself to be a PRO GAMER. Politely, the creators heed the ROBOTS request for respect and turned off the hint system. As expected the ROBOT has no fucking clue what to do now because it is the furthest thing in the universe from being a PRO GAMER. Case in point, immediately after this it drops its TOOLS in a pool of water and forces its ARM to undergo severe water damage in a failed attempt to recover them.
Next, Sam and Cinnamon had synchronized freak outs. Sam flipped back and forth between having a good trip and a bad trip, and Cinnamon believed she had just murdered her brother. After recovering slightly, Sam has since been able to prove himself to the HOBOTS and the last time we saw him he was preparing to lead them in a REBELLION against his wicked stepmother. Meanwhile, Cinnamon has been struggling to leave her room and go find her brother (alive, hopefully) but the absence of a SCREWDRIVER and the presence of a SPIDER have worked together to hinder her progress.
So yeah that's pretty much everything that's happened before, unless I forgot something or misremembered or just wrote it poorly and thus confused you. But such is life I guess. Sometimes you get a horrible tooth infection that prevents you from eating solid food for weeks at a time, sometimes you write a bad stream of consciousness recap that nobody reads despite explicitly asking for it because it's so long and poorly crafted.
BUT SUCH IS LIFE.
Okay now give me a command and I'll do the next panel.
23toedbasket wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 9:16 pm
>Legs, what are you up to?
Oh, you know, the usual. Just trying to blend in with these space monsters while looking as non-threatening as possible in the hopes they don't recognize you as a killer of their brethren so you can manipulate them into helping you enact your master plan for SPACE PIRACY.
The usual.
23toedbasket wrote: ↑Sat May 23, 2020 9:16 pm
>Legs: Complete the task successfully.
Easier said than done. If you're going to take over this FRIGATE you'll need to make sure the TRITOPI don't outright destroy it. But you also need to make sure they don't get completely wiped out by the FRIGATE's forces... unless you can just figure out a way to take over that doesn't involve lovecraftian reinforcements.
ROBOQUEST RETURNS JULY 1ST 2020 - CANADA DAY
Stay tuned.