Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
>OG: stay in the cloning room and keep making Golems until you have an army.
- luigi
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
23toedbasket wrote: ↑Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:18 pm>Pimp: Let's see if those cops are still so curious now that you've got your golden goons... and if they wont be crooked, MAKE EM CROOKED.
Your three golden goons manage to take out the first wave of cops, but soon they are overwhelmed by the full might of TOWNBURGSTEAD's police force. Why does such a medeival town have such an effective and modern police force? HOW???
RancidRancor wrote: ↑Wed Mar 25, 2020 11:39 pm>Past DC: Wave ur gun at tha guard an ask "WHO THE HELL DO YOU WORK FOR"
The guard is threatened by your display of ruthless violence! He respects the power move of using your own time clone as a human shield so much that he even agrees to tell you who he works for! According to the guard, in life he served a terrible Science King named RANSORE the WRETCHED. Ransore created many horrible monstrous abominations from the corpses of his loyal Knights to guard his dungeons using accursed SCIENCE MAGIC, knowing that one day he would die and be unable to guard them himself. The guard says that he is one such abomination, compulsed to eternally guard the late king's secrets at almost any cost.
Nowadays the dungeon's finances are managed by DUNGEON KEEPERS LLC. They have an office in TOWNBURGSTEAD.
But he's dead! Just like this body you're holding. Ew gross, this is a dead body. You drop it on the ground because it's too gross to keep holding onto like that.
Since you fucked up last time by only sending out 3 Golems you decide to just stay home and make a shit ton more. Did I say shit ton, sorry I meant a FUCK TON more. You doubt the cops could apprehend this many guys made out of solid gold. 3? Sure. 4? Probably. 5? Yeah still likely... but at some point, around 50 or 60, you start to think maybe the city police won't be up to the challenge.
spambot wrote:The passion amongst men is increasing.
Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
OG: take over city.
Past DC: kidnap the guard and add him tot he loot you find in the dungeon.
successful DC: set to space, and mitos yourself
New re-spawn: just walk out and go get a real job, this treasure isn't worth it.
Past DC: kidnap the guard and add him tot he loot you find in the dungeon.
successful DC: set to space, and mitos yourself
New re-spawn: just walk out and go get a real job, this treasure isn't worth it.
- luigi
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
You and your GOLDEN ARMY take over TOWNBURGSTEAD and rename it PIMP CITY YO. You have your GOLDEN BOYS erect a tower to be your new base of operations while you begin to rule over the land.
You would but he's running away in fear and ever since human trafficking was outlawed it's been a lot harder to turn a profit on it. Maybe in another life where you fully commited to your pimp-like tendencies you'd consider it more seriously.
You never figured out what the Time setting does because from your perspective your duplicate just kind of disappeared. You feel bad for maybe vaporizing yourself so you decide to make another while that other switch is still on the sad face.
You undergo MITOSIS and split into two new individuals. Both of you suddenly feel... very depressed. You don't think you can stand to live like this anymore.
->
You strangle each other to death.
Try Again?
>No.
Ahem.
Try Again?
>No please god no I'm so fucking depressed just let me die PLEASE.
...fine.
Yeah you have a feeling that no good can come from exploring this dungeon. Or any dungeon for that matter.
->
You walk into town to begin your job search.
->
Man this economy fucking sucks. Your options for entry-level jobs are a McDonald's worker, a Janitor, or a Lab Assistant. What are you going to do?
spambot wrote:The passion amongst men is increasing.
- 23toedbasket
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
>Pimp DC: start extending your influence into neighboring towns. Send some teams of your trusty Golden Goons to scout out the criminal ecosystem of the area.
- luigi
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
Bungle Kungle is not a place that exists, or at least not one you've ever heard of. If it existed it would probably look something like this though, and it'd be next to a bushtaka. Do they sell furniture? You recall the ads being about furniture or clothes or something, but you went in there one time and it was all sports stuff. You've been pretty confused about that, but maybe you're just an idiot.
Point is, BK is not a valid job choice.
23toedbasket wrote: ↑Thu Apr 23, 2020 9:11 pm>Pimp DC: Start extending your influence into neighboring towns. Send some teams of your trusty Golden Goons to scout out the criminal ecosystem of the area.
You've been doing that for years by this point. You are now in the EPILOGUE of your story, as a successful global pimp-emperor. You wear a crown and a wifebeater, with legions of golden goons and prostitutes at your disposal. You are worth millions.
New Game Plus?
Y/N
spambot wrote:The passion amongst men is increasing.
- 23toedbasket
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
>H to the mutherfucking Y
- luigi
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
>Y
New Game Plus begins to load...
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just taken over the entire world after becoming the physical embodiment of pure evil and consumption incarnate. You have been transported back to the end of the first dungeon, this time with all the memories of your past life still intact. The sin weighs heavy on your jaded soul without the presence of Evil holding it hostage. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
>Time-travel back to the present
Try as you might, you can't get back to your old timeline! You will have to live with the self loathing wrought upon you by your own heinous deeds.
The guards are unsympathetic to your nervous breakdown.
>Successful DC: make a back up save file so you don't have to repeat the guard process again
The ones referred to as the Successful DC now lie as bile in the stomach of the CONSUMER. Besides that was always a vague, relativistic term that could have applied to any of the Dungeon Crawlers at one point or another.
>Lab. LAB. ASSISTANT.
As per the awkwardly worded request, you apply for the open Lab Assistant position and get the job! They tell you you aren't the first person to apply and get the job - many have tried and died making their way to the lab!
->
Turns out the Lab rests at the end of Level 3, a long scary dungeon located right in the middle of TOWNBURGSTEAD. If you want that job you're going to have to crawl through at least one more dungeon!
->
The interviewer gives you a sword and wishes you good luck.
Last edited by luigi on Thu Feb 25, 2021 11:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
spambot wrote:The passion amongst men is increasing.
Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
Pimp: whats the traumatized bullshit, pimps dont cry. go back to your pimpin ways and slap those guards into submission. send em to the corner.
Lab Assistant: enter dungeon.
Pimp: confess your sins about your past life to the guards. the only way to make up for your brutal treatment of the last world, is to treat this one with kindness and love.
Pimp: ask the guards to let you past so you can use the device in there make this world the best one it can be.
Lab Assistant: enter dungeon.
Pimp: confess your sins about your past life to the guards. the only way to make up for your brutal treatment of the last world, is to treat this one with kindness and love.
Pimp: ask the guards to let you past so you can use the device in there make this world the best one it can be.
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
Pimp: Don't pay attention to the fact you just slapped those bitch-ass guards then told them you want to change. Fuck a cognitive dissonance. Develop split personalities.
- luigi
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
>Slime:Appear and attack NG+ DC
Because it's new game plus, there are now additional monsters. And because you're busy moping you don't realize said additional monsters creeping up on you...
->
...and eating you alive.
Try Again?
>Yes
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just taken over the entire world after becoming the physical embodiment of pure evil and consumption incarnate. You have been transported back to the end of the first dungeon, this time with all the memories of your past life still intact. The sin weighs heavy on your jaded soul without the presence of Evil holding it hostage. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
You come to the stark realization that acting like a pussy is going to get you nowhere. Acting like a pimp seemed to work out last time (you took over the world, after all) so you just do that again.
->
Unfortunately you're no longer made of metal! The trident pokes through your soft flesh pretty easily.
Try Again?
>Yes
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just taken over the entire world after becoming the physical embodiment of pure evil and consumption incarnate. You have been transported back to the beginning of the first dungeon, this time with all the memories of your past life still intact. The sin weighs heavy on your jaded soul without the presence of Evil holding it hostage. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
You step into the dank, dark hallway. It's not dank like in the coolguy party sense, but rather the wet and moldy sense.
->
Wow this is a really long hallway.
For some reason you feel like walking up and acting like a straight up pimp is only going to get you killed. Besides, that entire experience was pretty traumatizing, and you're suffering from some pretty intense PTSD right now. You decide tearful prostration is the only way to redeem yourself.
->
Wow you're making these guys really uncomfortable. One of them reaches down to pat you on the shoulder, but the other guard grabs his hand before he can touch you. You hear him offer up a warning to his buddy, something about rabies.
That's pretty rude! You might be a dishevelled, snivelling mess curled up on the floor of a dungeon but you're not a wild animal!
Wiping away the grossest parts of your snot facial, you ask the guards if they'll permit you entry to the treasure room. You begin to launch into an entire spiel about how you want to make the world a better place, but honestly they just pity you. One of the guards follows you in, to act as a chaperone and make sure you don't break anything.
->
You're now in the TREASURE ROOM.
RancidRancor wrote: ↑Tue Apr 28, 2020 4:02 pmPimp: Don't pay attention to the fact you just slapped those bitch-ass guards then told them you want to change. Fuck a cognitive dissonance. Develop split personalities.
You begin developing a split personality as the sins of your past threaten to destroy your psyche.
Luckily this guard spent some summers as a camp counsellor, and he's able to talk you through some of your issues. You ask him why he's working a job as a guard instead of like, a therapist and he tells you he took the job initially to pay for university but just got sucked into it as a career since he was making enough money to live on his own. He didn't have a drive to pursue greater things until he was already too old to get started. You try to tell him that it's never too old to go back to school and start a new profession, but he insists that he is too far gone to ever live the life he wants to.
Jesus why is everyone so depressing.
Last edited by luigi on Thu Feb 25, 2021 11:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
spambot wrote:The passion amongst men is increasing.
- 23toedbasket
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
>alternate reality DC: Check your dead body for clues... what is in this dungeon??
Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
NG+ DC: Ask the guard how the machine in the treasure room works.
Lab Assistant DC: Call out and ask if anyone is there.
Past DC: Follow the guard who ran away to see where they went.
Lab Assistant DC: Call out and ask if anyone is there.
Past DC: Follow the guard who ran away to see where they went.
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
>Shit on the floor and belt like a cow, there is no better thing to do.
HC: There are twelve main classes Muse, Seer, Knight, Witch, Rogue, Heir, Page, Thief, Mage, Prince, Bard, Maid, and Lord---
YN:[yeah dude. Sylphs are fucking gay.].
HC: Shut up!
YN:[yeah dude. Sylphs are fucking gay.].
HC: Shut up!
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
23toedbasket wrote: ↑Wed Apr 29, 2020 9:41 pm>Alternate reality DC: Check your dead body for clues... what is in this dungeon??
Your body doesn't have anything on it. He must not have progressed as far as you, and didn't manage to pick up any cool loot before coming back in time to see you. How inconsiderate! He really should have known you'd want a present.
You begin interrogating the guard, asking exactly how this massive doohickey functions. He says he doesn't really know, but from context clues he can figure out a few things:
The SPACE setting allows the use of the three physical options:
MITOSE (similar to cloning, except there is no original. Both are born from the previous, ie MITOSIS.)
MIDAS (turns the item / person to gold.)
MY DOSE (obviously just administers the proper dose of antibiotics RANSORE was taking before he died)
While TIME allows you to choose a number and time travel to that point in time. He isn't sure how the numbers correlate to real time though.
The TEMPLATE ITEM slot probably interacts with the SPACE settings, maybe it has some application with the TIME setting?
The Happy/Sad switch obviously just gives a Happy/Sad outcome of whatever process is undergone.
You wonder why the guard said he doesn't really know when he clearly really knows.
This is such a long fucking hallway. Oh hey there's the end. You call out to the guard blocking your path, but they don't respond. Maybe it's just a statue? This is starting to feel a bit like a Dungeon Crawl, which is kind of the opposite of what you wanted. But hey if one last dungeon crawl means a lifetime of working as a normal lab assistant you're all for it.
>Lab Assistant DC: Make a back up save file so you don't have to repeat the guard process again.
You don't know what that means. This game doesn't have save files.
That being said, you have reached a CHECKPOINT! When you die you will now reload from this point, because...
->
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just walked the shit out of this hallway. All that stands between you and a job now is this dude three times your size. What do you do?
You follow the guard all the way to one of the puzzle rooms you weren't able to solve earlier.
->
He easily solves the puzzle, and you feel like a bit of an idiot for not being able to figure it out on your own. That was really obvious in retrospect.
Good thing this pillar was inexplicably placed here for you to hide behind, or else he might have spotted you.
->
A secret door! The guard goes inside.
>NG+ DC LOOK OUT THE SLIME IS BACK
You forgot about the additional NG+ monsters! A SLIME BEGINS EATING YOUR LEG AND BURNING THROUGH THE FLESH!!! The amount of pity the guard feels for you has reached critical mass!
harmoniousCalamity wrote: ↑Fri May 01, 2020 7:08 pm>Shit on the floor and belt like a cow, there is no better thing to do.
This is just fucking embarrassing dude. Your body goes into shock, and you release your bowels all over the floor while making a noise that could be easily confused for a cow's moo.
->
The guard calls his buddy for backup, and the two of them work together to save you. You guess you've bonded with the one guard enough that he's now vouching for you to his buddy.
Of course you aren't thinking about any of that right now, your PTSD has leveled up! Wait, that's terrible. Poor guy. You're bleeding out pretty fast now. If you don't do something about this you're going to die.
spambot wrote:The passion amongst men is increasing.
- 23toedbasket
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
NG's companion: holy shit! the love at first sight of your life is on the floor dying n' shit! cauterize that wound, but do not reveal your secret emotions for certainly it must be crazy to have fallen so deeply for a stranger... and yet *romantic comedy sigh* you have. SO SAVE HIM GOD DAMNIT
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
>Lab Assistant: go up to the guy and explain that you're just tryna be a lab assistant and not really into the whole dungeon crawling thing so if he could let you pass he'll never see you again
>when it turns out he's just a statue, check out the computer
>when it turns out he's just a statue, check out the computer
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Re: Dungeon Crawl Game (FREE TO PLAY)
23toedbasket wrote: ↑Wed May 13, 2020 8:33 pm>NG's companion: The love at first sight of your life is on the floor dying!
The fuck? Love? Nah. You barely know this guy. You just feel a sense of pity for such a pathetic creature.
>Lap up the blood from your newly removed leg
You attempt to recycle the blood back into your body by licking it off the floor. The guards think this is disgusting.
Alas, you have nothing with which to cauterize such a grievous wound before he bleeds out. The poor guy has been slain.
->
You have died.
Try Again?
>Yes.
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just taken over the entire world after becoming the physical embodiment of pure evil and consumption incarnate. You have been transported back to the end of the first dungeon, this time with all the memories of your past life still intact. The sin weighs heavy on your jaded soul without the presence of Evil holding it hostage. All that stands between you and the Treasure now are these dudes in tacky armour. What do you do?
RancidRancor wrote: ↑Fri May 15, 2020 3:24 pm>Lab Assistant: go up to the guy and explain that you're just tryna be a lab assistant and not really into the whole dungeon crawling thing so if he could let you pass he'll never see you again.
On your way over to the guard to explain your unemployment predicament, you step on a pressure plate. You take a second to wonder what it does, and as you do so...
->
An arrow trap kills you where you stand.
Try Again?
>Yes.
You are a Dungeon Crawler, and you have just walked the shit out of this hallway. All that stands between you and a job now is this dude three times your size. What do you do?
You head over to the computer, miraculously avoiding the pressure plate in the process. Wait what pressure plate? You don't know about any pressure plate. Forget I said that.
The computer is password protected! Dang.
Last edited by luigi on Thu Feb 25, 2021 11:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
spambot wrote:The passion amongst men is increasing.