>WV: You are the David that will slay all those giagant and powerful tyrants, its fitting. A can to the head is both effective and poetic.
That's a compelling argument. Okay, you're sold. You could probably stand to have something to use as a long-range solution. The FREEDOM OF SPEECH is more melee-oriented and there are some TYRANTS who you don't want to get too close to.
You obtain the SNAPPED MAYO-RAL SASH.
Better pick up some ammo for your new weapon.
You obtain x4 RATION CANS.
>WV: Also, loot that chest
You find a JUTTING OUT AND IMPUDENT FELT PLUSH!
You already knew this was in here because you saw the DAVE TYRANT put it in here. You aren't sure if it was a present or if he was just trying to get rid of it. Normally you'd be delighted about the gift and anoint this fellow as the sometimes-misbehaving Chair of Commerce for Can Town. He would undoubtedly get into all sorts of mischief unfitting of his profession and be disgracefully removed from office for his continued rump display in council meetings, public events, and in basic conversation. He was simply not a polite fellow and ill-fit for his position.
Disappointed, you put the fictionally disgraced Ex-Chair of Commerce back into the chest. You doubt someone so irresponsible can help you with this monumental task of TYRANT KILLING.