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Re: advice tred
Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2019 7:08 am
by rookie1978
why beans
Re: advice tred
Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2019 7:20 am
by BrobyDDark
arachnidsGrip wrote: ↑Tue Dec 03, 2019 6:29 am
How to deal with anger? Petty stuff like anger over an argument, or over something small going wrong. Anger management isn't my strong suit.
Well, the way I do it is broken into different steps:
Step one is taking a step back from whatever made you angry. When a friend of mine says something stupid and riles me up, I just step away from the forum/discord and go off to do something else.
Step two is rationalizing that anger. That may sound unhealthy or toxic, but the way I see it is, you're not rationalizing why it's GOOD to be angry, you're rationalizing why you became angry and how you can avoid that in the future. For instance, at the start you may feel "I'm angry because that person's an idiot/a dickhead/ignorant" but you may come down to "I am angry because they said something I can't agree with/they said something meant to rile me up/they said something hurtful to a cause I believe in out of ignorance." The point isn't to be angry at the other person, or the game, or the thing that made you angry, but rather to understand that something made you angry, and if you can come to terms with it.
Step 3 is the Find Something Else step. Basically, once you've rationalized your anger, find something else away from it. Something that won't stress you or make you angry. Like baking, drinking tea, cleaning up the house a bit, going for a walk. I've found being outside helps for anger, sadness, and panic attacks, so long as it isn't mosquito season.
Step 4 is acceptance of your new calm state. You may now go back to doing what made you mad before.
Re: advice tred
Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:03 pm
by Generalrabogolfo
how to stop looking like an asshole for laughing at everything
Re: advice tred
Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:37 pm
by BrobyDDark
Generalrabogolfo wrote: ↑Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:03 pm
how to stop looking like an asshole for laughing at everything
Practice a more genuine-sounding laugh.
Re: advice tred
Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2019 2:21 pm
by arachnidsGrip
BrobyDDark wrote: ↑Tue Dec 03, 2019 7:20 am
arachnidsGrip wrote: ↑Tue Dec 03, 2019 6:29 am
How to deal with anger? Petty stuff like anger over an argument, or over something small going wrong. Anger management isn't my strong suit.
Well, the way I do it is broken into different steps:
Step one is taking a step back from whatever made you angry. When a friend of mine says something stupid and riles me up, I just step away from the forum/discord and go off to do something else.
Step two is rationalizing that anger. That may sound unhealthy or toxic, but the way I see it is, you're not rationalizing why it's GOOD to be angry, you're rationalizing why you became angry and how you can avoid that in the future. For instance, at the start you may feel "I'm angry because that person's an idiot/a dickhead/ignorant" but you may come down to "I am angry because they said something I can't agree with/they said something meant to rile me up/they said something hurtful to a cause I believe in out of ignorance." The point isn't to be angry at the other person, or the game, or the thing that made you angry, but rather to understand that something made you angry, and if you can come to terms with it.
Step 3 is the Find Something Else step. Basically, once you've rationalized your anger, find something else away from it. Something that won't stress you or make you angry. Like baking, drinking tea, cleaning up the house a bit, going for a walk. I've found being outside helps for anger, sadness, and panic attacks, so long as it isn't mosquito season.
Step 4 is acceptance of your new calm state. You may now go back to doing what made you mad before.
I'll try that the next time I find myself arguing about politics with my ancient family members. Thank you!
Re: advice tred
Posted: Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:47 pm
by tajazzled
protein and good
Generalrabogolfo wrote: ↑Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:03 pm
how to stop looking like an asshole for laughing at everything
laugh at yourself, as well
Re: advice tred
Posted: Wed Dec 04, 2019 10:16 pm
by MorganMustDie
How can I get started in electronic music production? It is a hobby that is gatekept by absurdly expensive hard and software, which produces minimal returns for a very long time regardless if you use the high-grade tools or trap yourself using the often-disappointing cheap/free alternatives
Re: advice tred
Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2019 4:57 am
by Generalrabogolfo
tajazzled wrote: ↑Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:47 pm
laugh at yourself, as well
But I do that already! It doesnt work!
Re: advice tred
Posted: Sun Dec 15, 2019 7:15 pm
by tajazzled
Generalrabogolfo wrote: ↑Thu Dec 05, 2019 4:57 am
tajazzled wrote: ↑Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:47 pm
laugh at yourself, as well
But I do that already! It doesnt work!
laugh harder!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: advice tred
Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2019 11:16 am
by classpectanon
MorganMustDie wrote: ↑Wed Dec 04, 2019 10:16 pm
How can I get started in electronic music production? It is a hobby that is gatekept by absurdly expensive hard and software, which produces minimal returns for a very long time regardless if you use the high-grade tools or trap yourself using the often-disappointing cheap/free alternatives
download a tracker and start fiddling around with it. i use sunvox and it's easy for an idiot like me, but trackers are more than just for chiptunes and, imo, the way they are arranged and laid out makes it a lot easier to sort of see what's going on, musically.
Re: advice tred
Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2019 2:55 pm
by arachnidsGrip
How do I focus? I can't prioritize work and it has been causing me hell for ages. I'm literally in class right now writing this question during a lecture, as an example. Like, the teacher is literally talking in front of the class, and I'm facing him and typing away at this. I just... I can't focus on it. Every time there's a reading, I just stare at the book until we're done. I put off schoolwork until the very last second. I can't absorb any of this info that I'm being fed during class. How do I deal with that? I guess my question is, how do I force myself to focus and take in information when I need to?
Re: advice tred
Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2019 4:35 pm
by classpectanon
arachnidsGrip wrote: ↑Mon Dec 16, 2019 2:55 pm
How do I focus? I can't prioritize work and it has been causing me hell for ages. I'm literally in class right now writing this question during a lecture, as an example. Like, the teacher is literally talking in front of the class, and I'm facing him and typing away at this. I just... I can't focus on it. Every time there's a reading, I just stare at the book until we're done. I put off schoolwork until the very last second. I can't absorb any of this info that I'm being fed during class. How do I deal with that? I guess my question is, how do I force myself to focus and take in information when I need to?
ritalin
Re: advice tred
Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2019 5:30 pm
by calamityCons
arachnidsGrip wrote: ↑Mon Dec 16, 2019 2:55 pm
How do I focus? I can't prioritize work and it has been causing me hell for ages. I'm literally in class right now writing this question during a lecture, as an example. Like, the teacher is literally talking in front of the class, and I'm facing him and typing away at this. I just... I can't focus on it. Every time there's a reading, I just stare at the book until we're done. I put off schoolwork until the very last second. I can't absorb any of this info that I'm being fed during class. How do I deal with that? I guess my question is, how do I force myself to focus and take in information when I need to?
I recommend you practice focusing and mindfulness in smaller chunks before trying to pay better attention to your environment before jumping to ritalin or other medications. See if you can learn to focus for one minute at a time, then five, then ten, increasing in length and learning to do so on command. If it is still difficult, you can speak with a medical professional about it to discuss diagnosis of ADHD or similar.
Re: advice tred
Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 8:43 pm
by TobeWonInToronto
How to wipe the slate clean in a friendship? I know it's very hard to just get rid of a certain perception, full-stop, but I have an incessant need for instant gratification when it comes to gritty emotional things and I can't shake that. It's not worth changing if people are just going to hate you anyway.
Re: advice tred
Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 9:29 pm
by calamityCons
Uh.
If someone has been hurt by you in the friendship, and they’re unwilling to forgive you, it is not okay for you to force the issue and push them to forgive and forget. Your best option is to move on from the friendship, and respect their autonomous decision not to have you in their life as much as you used to be.
Re: advice tred
Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2019 7:47 pm
by TobeWonInToronto
calamityCons wrote: ↑Thu Dec 26, 2019 9:29 pm
Uh.
If someone has been hurt by you in the friendship, and they’re unwilling to forgive you, it is not okay for you to force the issue and push them to forgive and forget. Your best option is to move on from the friendship, and respect their autonomous decision not to have you in their life as much as you used to be.
I disagree. I think perceptions can always change. I may have misspoke, but there's definitely a willingness on both sides to fix things at some point. I've lost enough people, so if there is a way to fix this, then not only will I not move on, I'd be doing everyone involved a disservice. It becomes unhealthy to just start disposing people left and right over things that can be rectified.
Re: advice tred
Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2019 8:02 pm
by TobeWonInToronto
How to get good at art?
Re: advice tred
Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2019 8:04 pm
by BrobyDDark
Re: advice tred
Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2019 11:12 pm
by classpectanon
Practice daily and read books from people who are better at it than you are -- I've heard particularly high praise for Fun with a Pencil by Andrew Loomis.
Re: advice tred
Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2020 7:23 am
by syrupsand
How to die